Patience does not mean encouraging disappointment, frustration, and a waste of energy — all of which you seem to be so strongly against. Patience is the act of rejecting all three.
Patience does not require you to lose your convictions, because only people who have no convictions will “waste time with what displeases or hurts” for no reason. “Cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature” are only tolerated by those who do not know how to draw the line between advice and abuse.
Patience does not entail losing your backbone. Patience demands that you strengthen it.
Patience does not mean letting yourself be disappointed or hurt pointlessly, it does not mean putting up with excessive and unreasonable demands, it does not mean making an effort 24/7 for everyone to accept you, let alone love you. Patience means having the wisdom required to learn to accept that which cannot be when you have done all that you can (maybe even more), and to find the courage to detach yourself from it and all that reminds you of it and the immense suffering that it causes.
Make no mistake, patience does not mean blind surrender. It means to endure, to think, to choose your battles, and then to fight. Patience means giving yourself more time to assess why you do what you do, why you stay when all things seem hopeless, and why you must leave when the right time comes. Patience does not mean giving others the license to take you for granted.
Patience has nothing to do with letting yourself and others be manipulated, has nothing do with putting up with pretense, and has nothing to do with subjecting yourself to gossip. Patience means standing up for yourself and for others, to actually stop in the middle of what you are doing and take a step towards correcting these wrongs.
But patience does not mean you have to change the world; patience only means believing in your capacity to do so.
Because patience is not something you only afford other people; patience is something you must constantly afford yourself, no matter how undeserving you think you are. You will commit mistakes, you will commit the same mistakes, you will never stop committing mistakes. It is patience that will get you through the dark days, it is patience that will hold you together, it is patience that will allow you to distinguish between what is essential and what is merely embellishment.
It is patience that will help you to accept that all life is suffering, and it is patience that will help you through it.